Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize