Farmville is her only friend.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
