i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize