Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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