Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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