The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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