I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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