six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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