Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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