i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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