No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
