what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
