come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
