It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Randomize
