just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
