We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
