i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
