I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
