I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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