My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
