Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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