Fuck appropriateness.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
