i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
