we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
