I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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