Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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