It's like a parade of train wrecks.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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