well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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