So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
