he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
