So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize