If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
