Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
