think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
