I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize