How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
