Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
