what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
