As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
