you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Randomize
