I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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