Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
