I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize