i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
