I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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