her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We got so high we made milksteak
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
