Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
