on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We have so much sex to catch up on
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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