Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize