I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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