So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize