i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
We need a shit load of segways right now
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
