this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It's blow job season.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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