O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
