Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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