I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Randomize
