I wish I only lived at night.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
