Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
