You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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