don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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