ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
