the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Threesome in a minivan. New low
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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