If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
