I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
