Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
