my sisters under your porch take her home
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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