From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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