Ketchup is God's man juice
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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